The London Diet, Try it.

Heres my London based guide to weight loss.

Step 1 - You have to be the right type of fat.

So im not talking the type of person who wants to loose a few pounds before they go on holiday in anticipation of putting on a few whilst on holiday as this method is too radical for that. I am also not talking about people who are properly fat, like way fat, like huge. This method puts far too much pressure on your mind and body for you to be able to cope and you probably will die.

The type of people I am talking to is people who are maybe a stone to three stone overweight and are looking to shed that extra weight but still have the ability to move around freely and can see all their toes.

Step 2 - Load yourself with unmanageable amounts of debt.

There are many ways you can do this. My chosen option was to go to university and also take out the maximum overdraft I could whilst at university. I also chose to buy a car(all be it 2nd hand) on finance and just for that extra kick I am going to canada next year for three weeks which will cost about £2000 in total.

You can load yourself with debt in other more adventurous ways if you wish, such as, gambling, drug use, buy a house, have a baby... all of these would work but it needs to be a good solid amount so lets say atleast £30,000.

Step 3 - Get a job in London (probably the hardest step, as the first two are fun)

This can be any job but it needs to pay you a good amount of money but not a great amount. Lets say £15,000 a year for instance. Just enough to have old mr student loans knocking on your door.

Step 4 - Live about 2-3 miles from work.

Heres the weight loss key and were this whole diet really starts to come together. Living just far enough away from work so that it takes you somewere between 40 minutes to an hour to walk to work. The key here is WALK. You could get the bus, yes? NO, remember you have all the crippling debt and not alot of spare cash so the walking not only helps your weight but your wallet too.

Step 5 - Enjoy Life.

Enjoy your new surroundings, enjoy your new job, enjoy your weight loss. All in the comfort that you are (just) servicing your debts and you are getting a bit fitter in the process. You also dont really have to watch what you eat, I mean your walking five miles a day and all the debt means you dont really have any cash so how much bad stuff can you really afford t eat?

Conclusion - I hope that you enjoy trying to fit all these pieces together over the coming years and make sure you remember the debt, thats one of the key elements of the diet. A nice big debt. I really do think this diet can be as big as the atkins, and it will get more people back to work, and give more money to the banks, and stop people driving to work. This really is the diet the global crisis' we face today have been waiting for.

Lewis