Stop going the Gym, you look like a Twat (feel free to hit me)!

Now, before this rant commences. Let me start by saying that I in no way have the perfect body, far from it infact. So much so that if I were a women, my dark hair, brown eyes, slender legs, tight arse, big nipples and even bigger boobs would probably be quite desirable. Sadly I am a man however and I must shelve that dream for later life(huh what?).

But in a more serious note I really think I suit the way I am. I mean I am that generic happy on the outside, manically depressed on the inside kind of fat bloke that everybody loves to have as a friend because 'their so funny' or 'always smiling'. So what should change?

I also sometimes wonder that if I did loose that couple of stone that my GP almost certainly believes I should then I would look like them odd blokes that arnt neither here nor there. Kind of drifting around in a world of fashion obscurity where their chests are left to protrude out of t's with an M slapped on them. The sort of people that go into Topman, see the mannequin and think 'yeah, thats for me' until they get home and try it on infront of the mirror and then hope that no one notices nothing fits. Skinny jeans on a fat bloke makes you look like your mum put your clothes in the wash with you in them and turned the heat up for a laugh. Classic example of these are often fat gay men, they love doing this shit.

So, to my original point of the post. People who hammer the gym.

In fairness to people who like to keep fit, I should narrow my insults down. When I say 'gym' I mean 'weights and steds'. I mean to cause no offence and hold only the highest respect for people who can actually be arsed to run every day.

Now that my focus has been corrected to 'people who hammer the weights, steds and the sunbed', Stop It! You look like a Twat!

Also, sweatpants are gay! Unless your at home or in the gym. Not in public you faggots.

Lewis